If I were the Devil

By Dave Leach

If I were the Devil, I can’t imagine being more pleased with my strategies for keeping Christian light under its bushel.

Since my agenda is to have the people of every nation ruled by the worst possible tyrants that the people will tolerate, my first priority would be to get the citizens with the most light, in the freest of nations, to hold their “church” under a bushel dark enough to keep their light from shining on their nation.

And what greater cause could I have for laughter and merriment, were I the devil, than to get these Christians to justify their bushel with spiritual sounding Noninvolvement Theologies that rarely, if ever, quote the Bible! And to present their Noninvolvement Theologies with my favorite sin: Pride!

First, I would invent the Jehovah’s Witnesses, which reverences the same Bible as other churches but which was born with a heavily entrenched Noninvolvment Theology against voting, or serving in the military.

Then, I would work to spread that Noninvolvement Theology across America’s churches for the next 70 years,  until 1953 when I could find a senator corrupt enough to put in the IRS code something that made it seem illegal for a church to let its light shine on the nation. Then I would build on that for the rest of the century until only a few churches are left whose pastors occasionally preach what God says about the sins which government has chosen to protect and promote, and none are left whose members are welcome to discuss how to organize against the sins identified by their pastors, because that would “offend” church members who don’t agree with their pastors, and who still vote for their government to promote those sins. Much less are members welcomed to discuss what God says about political details not addressed by their pastors, and try to agree, and organize action.

But all that work still leaves a small number of the Christians most committed in their opposition to some government protected sin. How to neutralize them? Ah! I would invent the “Lesser of Two Evils” theology! Brilliant! I would give them all kinds of spiritual sounding logic that would relieve them of having to ever get out their Bibles in its defense!

God’s goal in 1 Samuel 8 was the most righteous leadership the people would tolerate. My goal as the Devil is be the most wicked leadership the people will tolerate. In other words God’s goal was “the lesser of two evils”, and mine is “the greater of two evils”. By getting God’s people to refuse to vote for “the lesser of two evils”, they are out of the way of my voters for “the greatest of all evils”. Perfect!

Even their sermons and messages are made so much easier for their nation to ignore, because they make themselves politically irrelevant! That is, there is a link between words and actions, as the saying goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” My people, (speaking as the Devil), could care less what God’s people say, so long as it remains just talk, and they never do anything that might hamper government’s freedom to promote all my favorite sins!

In fact, my long range goal is to silence everyone who makes the least bit of sense, so that Robert Allen is the only one left talking!

Oh, what fun I would have with my Noninvolvement Theologies!

I would tell God’s light-bearers that Jesus never got involved in politics, even though 45% of Jesus’ teachings, in the book of Matthew, witnessed directly to Palestine’s politicians, “lobbying” them to change a wide variety of their laws. (Jesus Involved)

I would tell them that politics is not part of the Gospel, even though all of God’s Examples of Faith in Hebrews 11 were either political leaders or they got into the Bible through their interaction with political leaders! (God’s Political Heroes)

I would whisper to them that “there isn’t a dime’s worth of difference between the two major candidates anyway.” I would whisper that their similarities (they are both sinners, they both support a particular sin destroying their nation, babies will die under either one) renders insignificant their differences (one has terrorists for advisors, one supports the one sin destroying our nation more than the other, one promotes all the other sins destroying our nation which the other vigorously opposes, more babies will die under one than under the other). Of course no one thinks that the fact that all men are sinners (Romans 3:10-18) makes it not matter who becomes their pastor. Yet. That will be my next project.

I would tell them that 1 Tim 2:1-2 tells Christians to pray, pray, pray, and pray, and never physically communicate with, political leaders, even though the verse actually lists three other actions defined as communications both with God and men, and even though Matthew 18:19 says one of the keys to answered prayer is Christians praying for the same thing, so that our prayers are not at war with each other. “…if two of you shall agree…as touching any thing that they shall ask…” requires discussion of what those two want God to do.

As the Devil, I would know Christians wildly differ in their vision of what government ought to do, making it impossible for God to answer their contradictory requests, which is one of the meanings of James 1:6-8. So I would tell them they need to interpret Scripture in the context of other Scripture, and the reason they should not allow discussion about their wildly contradictory goals for government is because the discussion would be “controversial”, which would violate 2 Controversies 3:16.

And the best part, the most fun, of all this, for me, if I were the Devil? Most of God’s light-bearers believe me!

Coming: scads of arguments concerning  The Lesser of Two Evils, with all kinds of arguments for and against.